Now..Its over. [22 Sep 2004|04:20pm] [ mood | dirty ] [ music | Addicted to you- Simple plan ] Why do things seem so messed up? Everyday im getting yelled at or mocked at for something new, I cant do anything right, not in my parents eyes anyways. I cant stand them much longer, im going to seriously run away and never come back..until I need money. -sigh- who am I kidding, Amanda? Run away? Hah. No. I keep, messing up, on everything, I cant say/do/make anything right. The only thing I seem to do right, is getting things wrong, that’s one thing im really good at. I’ve been overly obsessed about everything lately, and feeling guilty every step of the way. Soon im supposed to be going to Adam’s house, lets hope his mom doesn’t go all bi-polar again...im looking toward to the worst. Mhm. I have to go, ill update about Adam’s when I get back, (lets hope I go), -sigh- My parents wont stop fighting. Im going to tell them to shut the hell up, later.   P.S. This new updating layout is awesome. :) Light a torch.

[20 Sep 2004|05:08pm] [ mood | energetic ] [ music | My girlfriend- Blink 182 ] I’ve been just dancing around since I got home from school, for no particular reason. Just a little giddy I suppose ;). And again, for no particular reason. Dum dum dum, Emily I *heart* your medal penis. Thank you Emily’s mommy, Its my first one..shh. I got off the phone with Adam a couple minutes ago, I might be going to his house after he goes to the doctors, AND eat dinner, and im highly doubting it, knowing his mom. -Emo sigh- I haven’t been over there in while. My throat really hurts, icky. I don’t think im sick though, huh..I don’t know. I just don’t feel good, but I don’t feel exactly bad nether -shrugs- I never understood the working of my body, and I would never like to know thank you :). Lunch was funny, Helllloo misty was there, of course it was funny. PEEN PEEN!     That tis all right now. <333 [Edit] I told you so, im not going to Adam's, wahhh. :*( Light a torch.

[19 Sep 2004|10:27pm] [ mood | groggy ] [ music | Dont look back in anger- Oasis ] Take that look from off your face You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out People it has been a good day. I’ve saw a lot of people, I went to the football game, and I saw, Steph, Ash, Matt, Kaylyn. Chana, Kim, and Mike D., then me, Ash, steph, and Matt, walked to Burger king, screwed the football team game ;). We has lots of fun though, at the game and on the way to burger king. We saw Brianna C, and Erin at burger king. Had a shit-load of fries, and played an interesting round of the question game, i.e. It’s a game were you ask questions, got it? Then walked to Ashley’s house, and on the way we saw Tim, gave him a big hug, and then went out on our merry way :). We arrived at Ashley’s house, and knocked on Brina’s door, and invited her to Tim Hortons. She came with, and at Tim hortons, had a lot of laughs, and Adam came in with his cousin. Then left as fast as they came in. -shrugs-. The best part of the night was walking to Ashley’s house, with Brina, Ash, and Steph. We all acted like Indians and we claimed ourselves part of the Dilly’s gang (If you ever saw ‘Nucum High’, you would understand). We were all wicked hyper and just had a great time. Then sadly, Steph went home, and sadly, I had to leave -emo face-, and came home and did some homework. As always I wait to the last minute, I admire that im a procrastinator :).   Well that is it I suppose, I left out a lot of details. Let me just say today was a wonderful day. I don’t know what I would do without my friends. I love you all. Light a torch.

[18 Sep 2004|01:57pm] [ mood | bored ] ( Read more... ) Light a torch.

jidfhei;fdvd [16 Sep 2004|08:53pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Dont look back in anger- Oasis ] My Madge is leaving tomorrow. Thank the lord. :) I know that sounds horrible, I love my mommy, but I just need a little..Break. She’s just always down my back about everything. Today was..okay. Lunch was..Interesting. Then Ashley’s, Taco bell, then home. <3 and but of course, homework. Fun fun, I gave up on Spanish, I just don’t understand it. I need the good old days when Kristyn sat in front of me, and whispered the answers...Memories. I miss them. -sigh-. O yea, and I don’t like Adam’s mom, She’s just, I don’t know, so Strict. She doesn’t let Adam do anything, She has a 2 inch leash on him. And also, what really sucks (But is understandable), me and Adam cant go in his room, but whatever. I hate feeling so young. I called Sean, but he was out or something. So I did call, so don’t hate me. <3. I hope something interesting, or exciting happens this weekend. Tata. 1 Burned my heart out. | Light a torch.

Pee Pee face! [15 Sep 2004|09:19pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Welcome to my life- Simple Life ] Today was okay I suppose. Im sick of complaining how horrible my days are, when in reality there not that bad. Its just, I don’t know things are different since last year. And sometimes it seems like I have no life, I don’t know. No one seems to comment anymore. Maybe no one just doesn’t read this. O well. Im not going to complain about that too. School was well, school. My new class ‘accounting’, severely sucks. I had a awesome lunch though, I talked to Nicky (im so glad things are okay between us and we can still talk like we used to, I love you, o yea, -hugs you again for saying what you did-) Emily, Nicky, Caitlin, and I all talked about a certain someone, -rolls eyes-, I don’t even want to think about her. -cough- wh0re -cough-. Sorry Sorry, that was uncalled for. Adam made a live journal, I doubt he’ll ever update. But we’ll see. In good new, my mommy is leaving for four! Days, on Friday. Four days of no yelling, screaming, or nagging me about everything. Not to mention, she’s one less person in the house, and minus 2, is 1, which would be one, then add someone else. And this equals my plans. See if you can figure this one out. :)   I guess that tis it. School Tomorrow, again, when’s vacation? To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked When you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down When no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life Do you wanna be somebody else? Are you sick of feeling so left out? Are you desperate to find something more Before your life is over 2 Burned my heart out. | Light a torch.

[14 Sep 2004|05:43pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Blood red summer- Coheed and Cambria ] Inside we’re really all the same. Pro’s and con’s of my day: Pro’s -Saw Adam in the morning. -Got a 100 on my homework -Had lunch with Emily. Con’s -Adam left early because his stomach was hurting -He won’t be in school tomorrow, he’s going to the doctors. -I feel like a pig. -Everyone on my bus is obnoxious -I hung up on Adam and he never called back. -My mom yelled at me 6 times about not cleaning around the house -And 2 times for being on the phone -My mom and brother got into a fight, and it makes me upset when they do. -Home life sucks right now. -Ashley wasn’t in school. -Adam wasn’t in my math class/or at lunch -...And...whatever screw it.   Y Light a torch.

Something you'll be missin. [13 Sep 2004|08:01pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Taking back sunday- Your so last summer ] I guess..your right. We have all changed, we didn’t want to but hey, we did. Today was icky, except for fashion design which is always good. But I have to admit the homework I get is ridiculous I have no time for anyone anymore. Well that’s a lie, I do. But I got a new class I switched out of European history and now im in...Accounting? Jesus what did I get myself into. Im just completely mentally exhausted . And I have no time for thinking about anything besides school. Things between me and Adam are great, and my other friends, well some im just not sure about. I hate 10th grade, im hoping 11th comes soon. : / On the bright side, during spring break I get to take drivers ed :).   Bye. Light a torch.

[12 Sep 2004|10:20pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | 99 red balloons- Gold finger ] -smiles- Rhode Island, ah it’s a good place. Home sweet home. -Kisses Floor-. New Hampshire wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it was pretty boring. Friday I drove there with my mem, and we should of got there in a matter of an hour and ½ but, traffic + we got lost, it took us 3 and ½ hours, I was completely exhausted. That night I met my cousin Tommy for the 2nd time, he’s 2 yrs. Now, and is so cute, but really fresh. He kept biting me, which wasn’t very nice, he got me a couple times on my legs, and once on my crouch I almost strangeled him. But any who, every night I was there we played cards, some hot rummy, and high-low jack (which Im pretty good at), but I didnt win once. Then this morning I went to church, and then out to breakfast, then a 2 hour drive home. And again -kisses floor- How I love Rhode Island, im such a townee :). Well when I got home, I called my baby whom I missed o so much, and my mommy let me go over. We had a lot of fun, and man o man I love that boy. Really I love him. <3 I almost forgot, I sorta know what I want to do when I get older, it seems like the most random thing to get into but It interests me. Politics, I figure I want to help people, that would probably be the best way to do it, help a lot of people at once. Plus it honestly interests me, My mem and my Uncle Tom were having a intellectual conversation and it really sparked an interest to do something like that. Tis all. <3 Light a torch.

[09 Sep 2004|05:09pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Blink 182- Everytime i look for you ] Im so bored. There’s seriously nothing to do, I know I don’t update much anymore, but its not like I’ve done anything worth updating about and no one comments anyways. School was okay I suppose, Tomorrow I get to leave early because my mom screwed up my weekend. I have to leave for New Hampshire tomorrow to go to my uncle’s house, because my mom and dad are leaving for their anniversary, and they don’t want to leave me home. -sigh- I hate this, only two days out of the week I can do what I want to, but now I have to go and baby-sit, and do other gay stuff. I suppose It might not be that bad, but Id so rather see Adam. :(. He’s such a wiener, he left at 10:30 from school because he didn’t ‘feel good’, he went to the nurse told his mom he was sick and she picked him up because his mom is like that. So I only saw him once today, -Emo face-, im over it. All though im not going to be able to see him the entire weekend, what the hell. Im running away..Just kidding. Today in fashion design there were lesbian retards surrounding me and Emily. AHHH! We almost shot them all. You know what I find terribly sad, I miss my brother Adam, it’s the weirdest thing, I have never really missed him, but now I do, for no reason. -Emo tear- I have really nothing to say, except Im looking toward to dinner, chicken pot pie...Microwave style *two thumbs up* <3 Light a torch.

[07 Sep 2004|09:45pm] [ music | Don't ] Today was 50/50, I didn’t have a horrible day, but at the same time I wasn’t having a great day either. Last period was fun, and because..duh Emily Ann Cournoyer was in it, and she as my wifey rocks my balls. :). After school, I went to Bob’s, Marshall’s, and Filenes’s, and I cant find a freaking pair of pants/jeans, I tried on 4543859048594 pairs, and somehow I find something wrong with everyone, meh..Weathervane..come back! They were my source for jeans, and now..I don’t know what im going to do. In the end I came home with a new overee, and a Etnie’s sweatshirt, now im reppin Etnie’s, with the shoes and the sweatshirt. When I got home, I did my homework, and talked on the phone with..Adam of course. We talked about..a lot of things. And o yea, (Emily before you go and say something in front of Adam, what I told you today about us, I never told you..okay?) Well yea, We talked about a lot of different things, a lot came up, and im glad I promised him something, it makes me feel more secure about things. Hmm.. In sadder news, Matt and Kim broke up. :*( I’m sorry Kim, I still would love to be your friend, and I know you’ll find someone who will love you just as much as you love him. I wish there was something I could do to make things better, but honestly there’s nothing I could do. I <3 you.   That’s bout all for now.   Doesn’t everything seem okay? Light a torch.

[06 Sep 2004|06:34pm] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Yeah- Usher ( I secretly love this song..shh) ] Went to Adam’s today, before I left I saw Matt too. As well I saw matt yesterday, but I don’t feel like explaining yesterday, I don’t feel like talking bout today either. Heh. O well, I just got to say that I have a bruise on my leg from getting hit with a pellet gun, hah. I hope everyone else is okay. : / Later. p.s. I decided on my phone cover. And..A purple antenna, :) That tis all. Light a torch.

[05 Sep 2004|09:03am] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | Brand New- I will play my game beneath the spin light ] Adopt your own Old Skool Adoptable! Lmfao! I Had to post that it was too funny not to. There is like no one online, and im bored as hell. I guess that’s what I get for waking up at 8:30, I had a wicked weird dream that I was teaching a parrot to say ‘Ello Chopper’, that’s sad when I dream about saying that. I miss Emily a lot. -sniffle-. I never get to see my wifey. :(, But as for talking to me yesterday Emily..thanks. That’s about it im bored and thirsty, <3 Light a torch.

[04 Sep 2004|11:10pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Bowling for soup- 1985 ] Well Today was..interesting. Saw some old faces, I met Ashley and Steph at the dollar store, and we walked over where Matt and Adam live, to see if someone we knew was around, we saw Adam outside, and it started down pouring so we went inside. And soon, it stopped and Matt was there, So we went into the back and played some kick ball, for about 5 minutes, then went inside and played some cards, me and Adam cheated..but shh. :). Then later we left, and walked back to Ashley’s and her dad brought us to the Lala, where Wayne, Andy Mosca, and some other kid from hende. Wayne left us about 438958940 times, to go see Amanda Renfru and Missy Card, But whatever. Then we saw lots of scary people, hobo's, and people who needed more clothes etc. etc. etc...Then Andy gave me this Elmo poster thingy he won, he told me to hold it, and never wanted it back. So -shrug- it was nice to see a familiar face, we talked a little bit, as did with Wayne. Had a gross Carmel apple, and walked Wayne and Andy home sorta, gave hugs and kisses goodbye, and left. It was disappointing cause it was sorta un-fun I suppose. But nice to see some people. That’s it I guess, Later, <3 Light a torch.

Doot. [04 Sep 2004|03:17pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | Brand New- The boy who blocked his own shot. ] Im better, I swear. Things still arnt great, but for now im very content. Thank you Michael and Ashley. Yesterday, after school I went home with Ashley, and we went for a walk with Michael Blalock, because he is just so totally awesome. We met him at Tim Hortons, and talked for about ½ an hour, and then went to Tiouge lake, and just sat near the water and we all caught up, he is one phyco let me tell you, and he gets around. Im so proud of you Michael :). Then it was getting dark, and we were sitting on rocks for a hour and a ½, and I had to go pee, so we started walking again we went to Taco bell, we’re I finally got to go pee. :). I was a happy camper then, then we went into CVS and just looked around, and we walked like everywhere just acting like morons, good times good times. Then we went near Cvs where there’s a little unfinished park, and just sat and talked again. We did a lot of talking and laughing, I had a simple good time. It was exactly what I needed. Then we got picked up hugged mike goodbye, and then went back to Ashley’s, and got 13 hours of sleep, I guess we caught up on our lost sleep. Then this morning I got picked up at 12:30 by my dad, and called Adam, he was acting strange, I hope it doesn’t last it was weird. Or maybe it was just me -shrugs-, Then he left to go to a water park, with Matt. O yea, Adam got fired..haha. Well Any who tonight I might go to the lala, with Ashley and Steph. I was really hoping to see my babeh. But -shrugs- ill have to wait. Lmao NeverFeltSoXWarm: Dont give me oral SmarterChild: Please let me give you oral. 3 Burned my heart out. | Light a torch.

[02 Sep 2004|08:02pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Coheed and Cambria- The light and the glass ] No one’s the same, Everyone’s changed, School blows, All I have time for is homework, I have no life anymore, Im so frustrated, And..Every time im not thinking about something I begin to cry. I have cried six times today, im so stressed out about so many things. Im jealous, envious, and people this year in one term just..Suck. I haven’t been happy for more than three minutes in a day for the last week. When is this going to stop? I have no more self control. I cant stop my self from crying anymore. All I know how to do is hate myself and cry. 1 Burned my heart out. | Light a torch.

[02 Sep 2004|06:19pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | The smiths- Asleep ] Today suck, and tomorrow will too. ( CCCCCCCLICK ) 2 Burned my heart out. | Light a torch.

[31 Aug 2004|06:37pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Champagne supernova- Oasis ] Everything. Sucks. Nothing is going right for me these days, honestly nobody cares. Or seem to anyways. What happened to best friends forever? Screw everyone, no one could give two shyts about anyone else unless their happy. People’s ego’s have been bothering me lately, everyone self loving and conceded, I just want you all to shut up. Get over yourself, and move on. And what’s with all the backstabbing? If you don’t care anymore..well I still do if your wondering. Too much has been going on at once, with school, problems, and just people in general. This human species sucks. I just want everyone to be honest with me, to my face. Don’t be afraid of hurting me, you already did. There’s two people that are making my life somewhat decent. Thank you.. I give up with trying to make a point.   Why can't things be simple again? Later. Light a torch.

[30 Aug 2004|06:25pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Faliure by design- Brand New ] I feel petty.. 2 Burned my heart out. | Light a torch.

[29 Aug 2004|07:05pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | 1985- Bowling for soup ] Summer... Highlights: -Night’s in Adam’s pool. -Fliffle Ball. -Falling in love over and over again <3 -Having so many good times. -Fair with Emily -Sandy bottom rd. -Losing my mind. -Up all night with Kristyn. -Lots of Laughs.   Down’s: -My friend’s daddy dying. -My other Friends Mommy dying. -My friend’s dad being sick. -My uncle having a heart attack. -People being A$$holes. -Fights -Being depressed. -Not solving my huge problem. -Not seeing some of my friends.   School is a change. 9th grade sucked. 10th grade, hopefully will rock. :) Sophomores’s. <3 P3yce 2 Burned my heart out. | Light a torch.

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